Two times I was foiled in my plans to travel to Kenya. Those setbacks felt like stumbling blocks to the beginning my year following Holy Spirit wherever He leads. But it taught me that God will use anything for my good.
My first attempt to leave the country was on November 4th. I felt like God put that day on my mind. I would be flying out of O’Hare and 20 hours later land in Nairobi, Kenya. I had just recovered from Covid-19 two weeks prior and felt it could not have been better timing—if I was going to get covid, I might as well get it in the States rather than overseas!
The day for leaving finally arrived. With tears I began the emotional process of saying goodbye. I could barely choke down lunch. I cried again when my friend picked me up to leave and I knew it might be the last time I’d see him for a year. We arrived at church where I planned to meet with friends to drive up to Chicago. Two and half hours later, as I got out of the car at departures, my emotions were high. I decided I would go check-in and put off the goodbyes for a little while longer.
As I punched in my confirmation code, a checklist came up for me to certify that I had not been diagnosed with covid in the last twenty one (21) days… WAIT! Since when has 21 days been an important number?! I flagged someone down for help and they acknowledged they weren’t sure since I had recovered completely. They ran my situation up the chain of command and fifteen minutes later I found out that their policy was 21 days and that they couldn’t budge on that.
I was in shock. Had I heard God incorrectly? Why did this plan not work out perfectly for me?! I panicked and rescheduled my flight for the next week on the phone and bemoaned having to drive back to Champaign feeling like a failure. I did not feel the grace on the situation in those moments. I felt discontent and heavy.
That heaviness began to change when I spoke with Jim Egli, a partner in my mission to Kenya. He shared some ways that God might be redeeming this situation—perhaps it was to get the ball rolling on God’s timing with the planning and preparation. Perhaps my not being there would allow the people overseas take more ownership. Perhaps there was something God was protecting me from. I immediately felt a sense of peace and a belief that, truly, God does work out all things for my good.
A week went by and it was time to get ready to drive up to Chicago again. All I needed this time was my negative covid test result. Within a few hours of leaving, I got a phone call from the testing center. The person on the phone said the result was in and that they could send an email to me. I asked that they send the results within a few hours so I could get them printed before my flight. The kind lady said, “Oh honey, you won’t be getting on a plane today.” What? What were my results?! She paused for a moment to confirm and said, “Sir, your test came back positive.”
I was distraught. I can't get on a plane with a positive test! Again?! How could this possibly happen after all the preparation? Was the enemy trying more tricks to convince me I shouldn’t go? Was God showing me this was no longer His will?
As I pondered these things, I began to think back to the last experience of not being able to go. It had taken an encouraging word from my friend Jim before—once I understood some ways God might be using the setback for His purposes, I finally felt myself to be at peace.
The truth is that God promises to work things for our good whether we understand it or not. He doesn’t promise that we will see how He will work it out, but He still promises it. I came to a tough self-questions: Was I only trusting God when I could see the ways He might be working, but not before that? Is trust that requires understanding really the faith I want or the faith that pleases Him?
I still wrestled with the stress of rearranging travel and communicating my inability to leave a second time, but through my experience, God highlighted a powerful lesson: I can trust God’s character and His promises all the time. I don’t need to understand HOW God will accomplish his redemption in my life in order to be content in it. I have seen His love abundantly clear through Jesus, through my past, through the scriptures. How could he fail to keep His promise, even if it is unseen to me at the moment? There might be innumerable setbacks yet in my future with God, but I can trust Him to work it all for my good whether I can fathom it or not.
God, keep me from elevating my understanding above your amazing promise to redeem all things for the good of your people. I sometimes worry about IF and HOW you will come through for me—which is foolish. Even if I can't see it at this moment, I know your goodness is for me. You make good on your promises in your way every time. Help me to quickly learn what life is like when I trust you ALL of the time. Amen.